Susa Batko-Yovino

For a different (now retconned) version of this character's biography, see the archived version of this article.

Susa Batko-Yovino (b. March 4, 1980) is a former Kennyite diplomat (and Karmicarian king) who "served" his country as ambassador to the United Nations in 2007-08. A dangerous jihadist lunatic, government officials have since consigned him to a military prison on the island of Tiki Taki, though he often "breaks out" in order to make appearances on the hit reality series World Assembly. He is suspected of involvement in his late wife Queen Adrienne's mysterious death, as well as a 2007 terror-related explosion in The 'Burgh, and a 2008 arson incident that destroyed UN Headquarters.

A proud Xt'Tapolopaquetl native whose parents bravely died in "martyrdom" against the Kennyite oppressors, Batko-Yovino competed in amateur boxing to pay his way through business school at the University of Santa Califia, where under the tutelage of his liberal hippy professors he became a terrorist sympathizer. He was the Fernanda Administration's treasury secretary from 2005 to 2006, having been appointed at the urging of his older sister Susannah, then the speaker of the Federal Assembly, who wanted to keep him out of trouble. So much for that. Susa's various compulsions for gambling, kleptomania, hookers and rich women's money were quickly making him a liability, even for President Fernanda, who in 2006 approved a mission to Karmicaria so the secretary could compete as a suitor to the queen...

Batko-Yovino was discovered nearly a year later at a Chechen insurgent camp, firing upon Kennyite commandos. Naturally, he claimed insanity, and the terrorist-loving Liberal Senate bought every word of it.^[1] But the Fernanda Administration insisted that Batko-Yovino be kept out of the country, and so dispatched him to the United Nations as "ambassador."

During his time at the UN and World Assembly, Batko-Yovino gained international notoriety as the sponsor of the acclaimed Repeal "Max Barry Day", and later as a candidate for delegate in a competition held in The Palentine. Chiang usually gets there in time to disable his suicide vest when he tries to "address" his fellow delegates, and the proximity of nearby casinos tends to keep him distracted from thoughts of exploding himself anyway. He also has the Strangers' Bar to keep himself occupied, although his rumored tryst with Urgenchi Princess Ryabat didn't go down very well. In August 2008 Batko-Yovino was signed up to compete as a boxer in the Third Summer Olympics, but since he was on several no-fly lists and could not travel to Columbia, Kennyite Olympic officials were forced to hire a doppelganger, who lost. Batko-Yovino ran for delegate again in the 2012 "primary elections" and did surprisingly well, winning two primaries and 940 Delegate Votes, putting him in second place overall.

Batko-Yovino has not returned to his home country since December 2007, when he was briefly allowed back to testify in secret congressional hearings related to his capture in Chechnya.

See also

• Omigodtheykilledkenny and the United Nations

External links

• Meet the Reps!™ Part V: We've REALLY jumped the shark now! Official WA profile
• Keeping Up with Julius Competition for regional delegate
• At the Townhouse Other 'Burgh events
• Repeal "Max Barry Day" Official floor debate ("live" link coming soon)