Stoumont
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| Flag of Stoumont | |
| Motto: “Désolé!” | |
| [Map URL], or No Map Available | |
| Region | Novus Licentia Terra |
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| Capital | L'Orchidée |
| Official Language(s) | French, Waloon, Flemish, Gibberish, Jedish |
| Leader | Francóise Berráncaeu |
| Population | Confused and Numerous |
| Currency | Plonk |
| NS NSTracker Sunset XML | |
Stoumont is a remote enclave of civilisation deep within the hills of Novus Licentia Terra, it was founded thousands of years ago but due to poor time keeping has only just been discovered by its fellow nations within NLT.
Contents |
History
Founded by Belgian Refugees fleeing from Atilla the Hun as he swept Napoléon from Europe during the English Civil War, Stoumont has been a backwater of Novus Licentia Terra that has only recenetly come to the attention of the larger nations around the coasts. When they first arrived in NLT by hot Air Balloon the Belgians landed in an alpine meadow of blue Orchids and named their first settlement L'Orchidée Royale, in hounor of then King Albert XIV. Since the Revolution all mention of the royal family has been strictly taboo within Stoumont and punishable by 'Le haricot qui Saute', (literally 'The Bean that Jumped'), where the prisoner is dangled by their elbows above a mush of fermenting silage and pelted with flaming newspaper, (it loses something in the translation).
Culture
Culturally the people of stoumont share much in common with their Belgian ancestors, enjoying Quidditch and Bear-Baiting in equal measure. On weekends Stoumontians enjoy compulsory visits to their local conservatoire where they must applaud the performers practising overbearingly Wagnerian Opera, bizarrely or perhaps as a result of this, Opera is not very popular as entertainment within Stoumont where it is seen as more of a Sport as to who can Cheer the loudest and most inappropriately, (particularly during Meso-Soprano Duets).
Geography
The country is suspiciously Swiss in appearance, its chocolate box cottages, alpine meadows, and number of road signs pointing Zurich and Bern have led some commentators to suggest that Stoumont may actually be Switzerland, although what Switzerland was doing on NLT and quite where the swiss have gone remains a mystery, the only clues to which are represented by a number of mysterious stone circles which dot the landscape with mystic runes carved deep into them, all stating NOW WE GO HOME. Consequently a number of conspiracy theorists have suggested that the stoumontians may actually be the swiss embarking on an elaborate hoax or cover-up although this doesn't fit with the known history laid down over hundreds of years in 'The Book Of Belg-Exodus' (Published 2010).
Religion
Stoumont is known for its manufacture of indestructible bath tubs under which many of the refugees sheltered to survive the Nuclear holocaust unleashed by the Zulu's in World War I. It is also a centre of religious artifact production, the largest factory LVFNS (Les vestiges Fabriquant nous Sommes), prodcuing some 15,000 relics a day catering 7 different religions including Christianity, Islam, Hinduism, Geoffreyish, Buddhism, Barcelona F.C. and of course the cult of St. Jed.
St. Jed was originally the Patron christian Saint of belgium who fled to Stoumont in 1952 from the Spanish Inquisition, however worshipers now consider him a diety in his own right offering prayers at the site of his martyrdom, 'Le Grand Fichu Trou' ,('The Great Hole'). St. Jed had settled in stoumont and acted as the local wiseman, leading the population in prayer and meditation to defeat invasions of Wolves and Otters. He was leader of the Social Democrat Party during their heyday years of 1969-1982 and President for Life for two terms between 1982 and 1989. Enraged by his success after his first escape the Spanish Inquisition sent a crack team of assassins to Stoumont to eliminate him. They planned to catch him on an early morning walk in the fields, unfortunately one of their number in the early morning light stumbled and fell into the great hole, St Jed Ran to help the man and was lost also, The remaining assassins unaware of Jed's Demise searched the country for two weeks before giving up and settling in Nova Espana where they now comprise 5% of the population and 100% of the national football team...
In the last 3000 years stoumont has been run by Monarchs, Emperors, Senates, Parliaments, Dictators, The Military, Peoples Republics, and on one notable occassion the winner of a reality TV show. But in that time it has remained Sovereign, Independent and Proud, (except during the Argentinian Occupation of 1924-72).
Calender
Stoumont uses its own holy calender based on the writing as teachings Alexandré de la Couéff the reknowned Belgian Jazz trumpeter. Unfortunately such is the narrative force within Stoumont thay not only are its months and weeks out of sync with the rest of NLT (and indeed the world) but its Years are too! Infact crossing the border several times in a day may catapult you both forwards and bacwards in time within Stoumont, (the calender of course imitating Couéff's famous circular breathing) by recycling months in a ratio of 5:4 (broken swingbeat) to a stacato week pattern of differing lengths.
Never mind the notorius Blue Jazz Interlude of the mid 2060's (also the 2010's due to aformentioned cyclicity) where time was not measured assing due to a series of Mass hallucinations of a deep rhythm interlude in one of Couéffs most famous pieces: L'Or C'est Ordináire.
Stoumont has many National Holidays, below are a selection, (Dates in Brackets are the best approximations of Gregorian style dates in most 4:4, 2:2 and Halftime years)
2eme de Cáve: Armistice Day (3rd March) 14eme de Cáve: Not A Father Day (7th July) 28eme de Waalbruut: National Digging Day (21st June) 34eme de Waalbruut: Remember Maastricht! Day (22nd June) 1iere de la Manche: Ethnic Diversity Day (3rd May) 4eme de la Manche: Christmas Eve (26th December) 8eme de la Manche: Christmas Day (22nd December) 9eme de Grazioné: L'anniversaire de St. Jed (22nd October) 24eme de Grazioné: Burning Night (20th Febuary) 37eme du Boise: Day of Martyrdom (4th January) 8eme de Samuin: Fools Day (April 1st - 19th)
And Many more...
An example of a year, (listed as in the gregorian calender as CE - Common Era) is the Year 2045/1964 which ran as follows:
Intro:
1iere - 24eme de la Manche 1iere - 5eme, 7eme - 12eme, 14eme - 19eme, 21eme, 23eme, 25eme - 26eme du Boise
Break:
L'Horloge Rein At 4eme de Samuin enter first stanza:
Stanza Premiére
4eme de Samuin 1iere - 48eme de Gauche 1eire - 24eme de Waalbruut 1iere - 4eme de Samuin 25eme - 33eme de Waalbruut
Repeat x 6 (Legato et Rallentendo)
Apres ca, the Second Stanza
Stanza Deuxieme
1iere - 28eme de Grazioné 4eme - 32eme de Grazioné 4eme, 6eme, 8eme, 13eme á Dor 1iere - 22eme de Cáve
Repeat to Fade
