From NSwiki, the NationStates encyclopedia.
The QuinTel Not-Really-Very-Premier League (QNRVPL) is the top football league in Quintessence of Dust. It is overseen by the Quintessential Football Association. Nominally classified as a "top level football league", it has thus far produced football of such a depressingly low quality that it is more akin to the junior leagues of top footballing nations.
Season 1
Teams
| Team |
Region |
Home stadium |
Home city |
Manager |
Main sponsor
|
| BobBank FC |
Central |
BobBank SkyPark |
Highmark City, HI |
Zeb Petersson |
BobBank
|
| Continuation Railway Biscuit Thickness Spray Farm |
Western |
Goldfish Bowl |
Piedmont, WS |
Sophie Barnett |
Sam's Bait & Tackle
|
| Eastling Rovers |
Southern |
Eli F. Baker Memorial Arena |
Eastling, ST |
Billy-Bob Baudelaire |
Baker Farms
|
| Greschmeier MSC |
Northern |
Northern Astrodome |
Greschmeier, FR |
Jennifer Fischer |
Klein & Klein
|
| Highmark City Blues |
Central |
National Stadium of Sports |
Highmark City HI |
Charlie Burton |
City Mail
|
| New Cleethorpes Athletic |
Western |
New Cleethorpes Municipal Sporting Ground |
New Cleethorpes, WS |
Jiao Chen |
QuodFM
|
| Nowy Orpington United |
Eastern |
The Arena of Dreams |
Nowy Orpington, PU |
Michael Kastner |
Eriqa's Erotiqa Emporium
|
| Wow! Health & Fitness FC |
Central |
Wow! Football Park |
Highmark City, HI |
Bang "Electric Blue Snorkel" Bang |
NutBurst Breakfast Bars
|
Final table
| Rank |
Team |
GP |
W |
D |
L |
GF |
GA |
GD |
Pts
|
| 1 |
Greschmeier MSC (C) |
14 |
11 |
1 |
2 |
22 |
5 |
+17 |
34
|
| 2 |
Wow! Health & Fitness FC |
14 |
8 |
3 |
3 |
19 |
9 |
+10 |
27
|
| 3 |
New Cleethorpes Athletic |
14 |
7 |
3 |
4 |
23 |
23 |
0 |
24
|
| 4 |
Highmark City Blues |
14 |
7 |
1 |
6 |
22 |
15 |
+7 |
22
|
| 5 |
Nowy Orpington United |
14 |
4 |
5 |
5 |
12 |
15 |
-3 |
17
|
| 6 |
BobBank FC |
14 |
4 |
4 |
6 |
16 |
24 |
-8 |
16
|
| 7 |
Continuation Railway Biscuit Thickness Spray Farm (R) |
14 |
2 |
4 |
8 |
15 |
22 |
-7 |
10
|
| 8 |
Eastling Rovers (R) |
14 |
0 |
5 |
9 |
9 |
25 |
-16 |
5
|
Top goalscorers
| Player |
Club |
Goals
|
| Marina Sundqvist |
Greschmeier MSC |
11
|
| Goshinho |
New Cleethorpes Athletic |
10
|
| Jessica Jensen |
Wow! Health & Fitness FC
|
| Masami Tamagotchi |
Continuation Railway Biscuit Thickness Spray Farm |
7
|
| Dirk Eiffel |
New Cleethorpes Athletic |
6
|
| Roger Longhorn |
Highmark City Blues |
5
|
| Zack Perz |
Eastling Rovers
|
| Edvard Henriksson |
Wow! Health & Fitness FC |
4
|
| Billy Hudson |
New Cleethorpes Athletic
|
| Brikk Schitthausen |
Greschmeier MSC
|
Season 2
Teams
| Team |
Region |
Home stadium |
Home city |
Manager |
Main sponsor
|
| BobBank FC |
Central |
BobBank SkyPark |
Highmark City, HI |
Courtney Ferguson |
BobBank
|
| FC Drongosnort |
Eastern |
Drongo Square Gardens |
Rahlia, PU |
Lechosława Wiśniewski |
qPick.qd
|
| Greschmeier MSC |
Northern |
Northern Astrodome |
Greschmeier, FR |
Jennifer Fischer |
Klein & Klein
|
| Highmark City Blues |
Central |
National Stadium of Sports |
Highmark City HI |
Bo-Christer Nyberg |
City Mail
|
| New Cleethorpes Athletic |
Western |
New Cleethorpes Municipal Sporting Ground |
New Cleethorpes, WS |
Jiao Chen |
QuodFM
|
| Nowy Orpington United |
Eastern |
The Arena of Dreams |
Nowy Orpington, PU |
Michael Kastner |
Samseong
|
| Rahlia Regals |
Eastern |
Grand Regal Douchebag Stadium |
Rahlia, PU |
Arlo Cockbadger |
Grand Regal Douchebags
|
| Wow! Health & Fitness FC |
Central |
Wow! Football Park |
Highmark City, HI |
Bang "Electric Blue Snorkel" Bang |
NutBurst Breakfast Bars
|
Foreign talent
In Season 2, the QFA instructed Jeremy Dixon to attempt to induce some international loans and transfers, believing the presence of players from other nations would improve the standard of play and make the League more popular (not to mention a more attractive investment). By far his biggest success came when Han electronics giant Samseong agreed to sponsor Nowy Orpington United, as well as embarking on an ambitious investment program in the city. However, despite the League's lack of prestige and the rather meagre salaries on offer, Dixon was available to get some interest, mostly from younger players or those unable to make the first XI at more established clubs. Players in included:
Final table
| Rank |
Team |
GP |
W |
D |
L |
GF |
GA |
GD |
Pts
|
| 1 |
BobBank FC (C) |
14 |
9 |
3 |
2 |
20 |
7 |
+13 |
30
|
| 2 |
Greschmeier MSC |
14 |
9 |
3 |
2 |
19 |
10 |
+9 |
30
|
| 3 |
Nowy Orpington United |
14 |
6 |
5 |
3 |
16 |
11 |
+5 |
23
|
| 4 |
Highmark City Blues |
14 |
6 |
3 |
5 |
22 |
13 |
+9 |
21
|
| 5 |
New Cleethorpes Athletic |
14 |
6 |
3 |
5 |
21 |
20 |
+1 |
21
|
| 6 |
Wow! Health & Fitness FC |
14 |
3 |
5 |
6 |
9 |
16 |
-7 |
14
|
| 7 |
FC Drongosnort (R) |
14 |
3 |
1 |
10 |
12 |
22 |
-10 |
10
|
| 8 |
Rahlia Regals (R) |
14 |
1 |
3 |
10 |
13 |
33 |
-20 |
6
|
Top goalscorers
| Player |
Club |
Goals
|
| Roger Longhorn |
Highmark City Blues |
9
|
| Marina Sundqvist |
Greschmeier MSC |
8
|
| Amanda Jónsdóttir |
New Cleethorpes Athletic |
7
|
| Lefteris Diakos |
BobBank FC |
6
|
| Goshinho |
New Cleethorpes Athletic |
5
|
| Masami Tamagotchi |
BobBank FC
|
| Grzegorz Adamski |
Nowy Orpington United |
4
|
| Dirk Eiffel |
New Cleethorpes Athletic
|
| Bo-Christer Nyberg |
Highmark City Blues
|
| Alex Tyrony |
Highmark City Blues
|
| Petras Zoltoks |
FC Drongosnort
|
Season 3
Teams
| Team |
Region |
Home stadium |
Home city |
Manager |
Main sponsor
|
| BobBank FC |
Central |
BobBank SkyPark |
Highmark City, HI |
Courtney Ferguson |
BobBank
|
| Continuation Railway Biscuit Thickness Spray Farm |
Western |
Goldfish Bowl |
Piedmont, WS |
Sophie Barnett |
Sam's Bait & Tackle
|
| Greschmeier MSC |
Northern |
Northern Astrodome |
Greschmeier, FR |
Jennifer Fischer |
Klein & Klein
|
| Highmark City Blues |
Central |
National Stadium of Sports |
Highmark City HI |
Bo-Christer Nyberg |
City Mail
|
| Highmark City Reds |
Central |
National Stadium of Sports |
Highmark City HI |
Simone Herz |
Wechsler, Håkansson and Lundberg
|
| New Cleethorpes Athletic |
Western |
New Cleethorpes Municipal Sporting Ground |
New Cleethorpes, WS |
Jiao Chen |
QuodFM
|
| Nowy Orpington United |
Eastern |
The Arena of Dreams |
Nowy Orpington, PU |
Michael Kastner |
Samseong
|
| Wow! Health & Fitness FC |
Central |
Wow! Football Park |
Highmark City, HI |
Bang "Electric Blue Snorkel" Bang |
NutBurst Breakfast Bars
|
Foreign talent
QNRVPL winners
| Season
|
Clubs
|
Champion
|
Pts
|
2nd place
|
Pts
|
| 1 |
8 |
Greschmeier MSC |
34 |
Wow! Health & Fitness FC |
27
|
| 2 |
8 |
BobBank FC |
30 |
Greschmeier MSC |
30
|
