History of HotRodia
- Text for the below article was taken in part from the Encyclopedia HotRodia, 18th Edition, which was published by the HotRodia Publishing Corporation. These articles contain information that was current at the time of writing. Below is an account of the history of HotRodia, which is excerpted from the 18th edition of the Encyclopedia HotRodia..
HotRodian history is divided into a series of eras which are marked by cultural, technological and/or political changes. There are no exact dates in the history of HotRodia as HotRodia has no official dating system.
The First Era: Prehistory
Little is truly known of the first centuries of HotRodian history because of a lack of written records from the time, but there are myths relating to the origins of HotRodia, and some of the facts have been verified to the satisfaction of historians. The following is a summary of an excerpt from from The Manual, a religious text belonging to Combustianism, which provides a narrative of the origins of HotRodia.
Chapter One: The Land Before Time
A long time ago, in a land known as Texas, a few people, united by their love of all things car-related, their appreciation for food and drink, and their overwhelming tendency to be goofy, banded together to create a group called...
The HotRod League!
The fearless leader of this band of like-minded individuals was HotRodianthicalopimus (hereafter referred to as HR), a man of great physical stature, incredible mental acuity, and a comprehensive sense of cool. HR inspired countless car lovers to lived in harmony with the jungles of concrete and metal, working towards their common goal of a world of smog-filled beauty and speed.
His beautiful wife Automobilica was the more practical half, the one who actually organized the people whom he inspired. She set up the First Car Show, and caused many to join the HotRod League, doubling their numbers.
Shortly after the First Car Show, HR had a dream in which the Supercarious, God of the Road and Track, The Omnipotent Internally-Combusting One, The Great Engine that Drives the Universe, told him that a huge wave of government regulation would destroy all hope of their utopian dreams. Supercarious commanded that a large vehicle be created that could move The HotRod League to The Promised Land, an unnamed land of petrol and dragstrips.
HR did as he was told, and constructed...The Carviathan, the largest automobile in all of history. So they set out in search of The Promised Land, wandering the highways for 1500 years, constantly looking for the unnamed land they had been promised by The Car God.
Chapter 2: The Promised Land
At the end of a millenia and a half, the HotRod League was cresting a large hill, when Supercarious appeared in the sky in front of the weary band and began speaking in a voice as loud as the rumble of a V12 engine.
"Oh privileged People of the Car, you have reached the edge of The Promised Land that I have given to you! Since we are already appropriately located on a hilltop (it's no mountain, but it will do) I will give you 5 Commandments.
1.) Thou shalt worship Supercarious, the God that hath brought you forth from the land of the treehuggers.
2.) Thou shalt offer a constant prayer to Supercarious, in the form of exhaust fumes.
3.) Thou shalt not ride a vehicle that is not powered by an engine, for this is blaspemy before your God.
4.) Thou shalt multiply upon this land, pave it, and drive at incredibly fast speeds upon it.
5.) Thou shalt drink tequila, for it is good.
Now go forth and get busy, I have to get back to The Great Car Show in The Sky. Junior tends to make a mess of things when I'm gone."
And so the intrepid band marched forward into to the land where they would settle and prosper.
The Second Era: Foundation of Communities
The facts about HotRodia's second era are much more clear than with the first. Much more has been historically verified because of increasing technology and the beginning of a shift away from an entirely oral culture.
In those days, the Leader of the HotRod League was being led by the vivacious and beautiful HotRodia, a direct female descendent of HR and Automobilica. It was proposed that The Promised Land needed a new name, one which reflected the spirit of the people. The decision came to a vote, and the name 'HotRodia' was chosen by a majority of the people, although 'The Big One', 'Car Country', and 'Chromera' were seriously considered.
The first town was built shortly thereafter. It was named HotRodia City, in an odd twist of fate. It is now the capital city of HotRodia. At that time the first HotRodia Tequila was brewed at a saloon appropriately called 'The Fuel Injector'. Soon, other towns began springing up: Margaritaville, Showroomtown, Garage.
Margaritaville was and still is the most culturally diverse city in HotRodia. It is home to peoples from hundreds of countries around the world, and the giant themepark TequilaWorld was first built there. Showroomtown is where the automobile industry first became established and the HRMC has its headquarters and main production facilities there to this day. Garage is the largest city in what is now West HotRodia and much of the 'old wealth' in HotRodia live their opulent lifestyles there while everyone else looks on with disapproval.
The Combustian Era
Early in the ultra-industrialization that accompanied the growth of cities, the worship of Supercarious became highly ritualized and became known as Combustianism. As Combustianism was very popular among the wealthy and powerful, it was eventually named the state religion, and the high priestesses within the Combustian religion were given all the legislative power. Since Combustianism is by philosophy socialistic, the priestesses centralized the government and began enacting some serious Robin Hood legislation. Fortunately, the priestesses also enacted many educational reforms, upgrading materials, hiring the best teachers, and promoting an incredibly expansive and interactive curriculum. Their last legislative act (before their role as legislators was officially terminated) was to provide free college educations to everyone in HotRodia.
The Era of Secessions
Near the end of the Combustian Era, many people became disappointed with the decrease in economic and political freedoms that accompanied the new governmental form and decided to break away from HotRodia and form their own nation of a distinctly Libertarian flavor called HotRodia II. The government of HotRodia reluctantly let them go.
About midway through the Combustian Era, many more people decided that HotRodia had been too liberal for too long and decided to start their own more authoritarian nation that focused strongly on civil rights and the economy called HotRodia III. Once again, the government of HotRodia let the people go peacefully.
Near the end of the Combustian Era, HotRodians began a movement towards decentralizing the government in an effort to put the power back in the hands of local officials who would understand the local issues better. Toward this end, HotRodia was subdivided into four regions, North HotRodia, East HotRodia, West HotRodia, and South HotRodia.
The Golden Era
For most of HotRodia's recent past, it has enjoyed an unprecedented level of prosperity and freedom, continues to maintain its tradition of peace and liberty, and has increased its position in the international arena dramatically.